The Secrets To A Life Well Lived
Part 1 The Secrets To Happiness
Often when somebody has some secret to success they try to figure out some way
to make money off of it.
They will share their secret with you for a fee, whether it’s the price of a book,
a seminar, or a sure fired guaranteed method to succeed.
Well I’m not that somebody.
Over the next four weeks I’m going to let you in on the
Secrets To A Life Well Lived.
All it will cost you is some ear time.
This week I’m going to tell you the Secrets About Happiness.
Then we’ll be considering the Secrets About Relationships,
the Secrets About Purpose
and then wrap up the series with the Secrets About God.
If you now somebody who would benefit from learning the Secrets to a Life Well
Lived
I encourage you to invite them to get these life changing truths first hand.
Today we are going to consider three Secrets To Happiness.
The three secrets are
#1 There is no such thing as disconnected and happy (Relationships)
#2 Your thoughts affect the way you feel (Thoughts)
#3 You are as happy as you are free (Freedom)
When I talk about happiness there are some axiom’s that you need to be aware
of.
An axiom is like a governing principle.
Axiom Number One:
Happiness is based on happenstance.
That makes happiness fleeting,
If the circumstances are ideal,
You feel good, you feel happy.
Feelings anchored to what is happening outside of you will not last.
They are definitely enjoyable but they can not last because the
times are always changing.
Axiom Number Two:
Do not confuse happiness with joy.
By its very nature happiness can not last,
But joy can and joy can produce happiness.
You may not be happy with your circumstances,
But you can have an inner joy that creates an environment in which you can find
a hopeful happiness.
Axiom Number Three:
God doesn’t care as much about your happiness as does He your
holiness.
That can sound rather harsh, but from reading the scripture I see that
genuine happiness, is based on living a certain way.
We’ve called this way, living your life to the full,
The life of a disciple.
Living this way is to journey on the path of becoming,
Becoming more like Jesus.
True happiness has holiness and a pre-requisite.
Axiom Number Four:
Happiness is an attitude of the heart.
It is an inside to outside job,
not based on what is going on around you,
but rather what is going on inside you.
Axiom Number Five:
Happiness is what we feel when we have a sense of well-being.
When we feel that everything is right or going to be all right in
our world. (Henry Cloud, The Secret Things of God, p. 46) its an environment
for happy to happen.
With those axioms serving as a background
I want to share with you three secrets to happiness.
Secret Number One:
There is no such thing as disconnected and happy. (Cloud, p. 47)
The first 2 chapters of Genesis explain to us that God created a good creation.
He made man in such a way as there could be an intimate relationship
between them.
A fellowship, a koinonia, a communion.
Then right there in the second chapter we read:
Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Just God and the Man wasn’t good for being human,
What was needed for the highest good was God, Man and an other.
Human beings are relational beings.
We thrive in interdependent relationships.
We are not designed to be alone. (Cloud, p. 50)
There have been studies that have led some researches to conclude
that extended solitary confinement is a form of torture.
In the movie Castaway, Chuck Noland the time obsessed Fed Ex systems
analyst, played by Tom Hanks, created Wilson to deal with
the mental anguish of being alone for 4 years.
Being alone is often the cause of depression and anxiety.
Have you built ways to isolate yourself from fellowship into your life?
No wonder happy “aint” happening.
“…the more connected you are, the happier and healthier you are.”
(Cloud, 52)
Secret Number Two:
There is no such thing as negative thinking and happy. (Cloud, p. 54)
It was Abraham Lincoln who said:
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_happiness.html
You’ve all seen the picture and heard the question: {show picture}
Is the glass half empty or half full? http://roddzblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/glass-half-full.jpg
You know that the person who has a optimistic view on life says:
“The glass is half full.”
The person who has a pessimistic view on life says:
“The glass is half empty.”
Recently I came across three more responses that give you insight into
the general direction a person’s thoughts point them.
“Who didn’t fill the glass full?” and “Who drank my water?”
And “Why do I always get stuck with half a glass?”
Which one of those answers reveal the best shot at finding some happiness?
Hebrews 12:15 (MSG)
A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.
You’re thinking generates feelings.
How you frame and perceive something encourages or hinders feelings of
happiness.
Keep entertaining negative thoughts and they will grow like
weeds in your mind.
Have you filled your mind with negative thoughts?
No wonder happy “aint” happening.
The more positive your thoughts the better your chance for
experiencing happiness.
Secret Number One:
There is no such thing as disconnected and happy.
Secret Number Two:
There is no such thing as negative thinking and happy.
Secret Number Three
There is no such thing as captivity and happy. (Cloud, p. 64)
Captivity means a loss of the freedom to choose. (Cloud, p. 65)
If you’re a captive,
someone or something is keeping you from doing what you really
want to do.
In the worse case captivity becomes slavery.
In slavery you are forced to do what you do not want to do.
You can be held captive or a slave to all kinds of things.
Have you ever been in captivity to your creditors?
You owe, you pay, but if you didn’t have the bill you would do
something positive with your money.
Have you ever been in captivity to a habit, attachment or addiction?
That habit, attachment or addiction starts ordering you to do whatever
it is, and as hard as you try, you eventually give in.
That’s not freedom.
Have you ever been in captivity to your pet, your kids, your parents,
Your chores, the things you own?
Clinically we call it co-dependency.
Can’t do what you want to because you have to tend to someone
else’s needs.
“Wherever there is a loss of freedom, there is a loss of happiness to some degree.”
(Cloud, p. 66)
Lamentations 1:14 (MSG)
"He wove my sins into a rope and harnessed me to captivity's yoke. I'm goaded by cruel taskmasters.
“…whatever is controlling you is destroying you.” (Cloud, p. 69)
Have you allowed something or someone to take way your freedom to choose?
No wonder happy “aint” happening.
The more free you are, the better your chance of experiencing
happiness.
Now that you know three secrets to happiness,
I want to look at how God empowers you to activate them in your life so you
can live your life well.
Secret Number One:
There is no such thing as disconnected and happy.
Unplugging from others hinders happiness
“In order for life to work,
it must be lived in the way it was designed.
And it was designed by God to be lived in close relationship
with others.” (Cloud p. 50)
Not just with any others either.
2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NLT)
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil ? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
The type of others that you need will first and foremost are believers.
You need to be connected with other believers.
When you are connected with other believers there is fellowship between
God, and you and them.
Matthew 18:20 (NIV)
“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Acts 2:42 (MSG)
[Believers] committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers.
Fellowship, the life together,
is more than Sunday Morning worship or a pot luck after the service.
Fellowship describes the type of relationship “where our hearts are
literally connected to one another in the spiritual realm.”
(Cloud ,p. 51)
Happiness is found in the company of others.
Others whom you love and are loved by,
with those who accept you and together have created a place where
you all belong.
A place where you can trust your heart into the care of
the other.
You know that your back is covered.
God wants you connected.
To connect involves risk.
Many of you have been hurt before by inviting people into your life
who betrayed your trust.
You don’t feel safe around others.
God will help you overcome that fear,
God will help create fellowship.
Ask Him to give you the grace,
Ask Him to help you find safe people to connect with.
Ask Him to help you develop trust in your new
relationship.
A life well lived is lived in fellowship with others.
Do you need to connect?
Secret Number Two:
There is no such thing as negative thinking and happy.
Negative thinking hinders happiness
“What you’re thinking inside your head will find its way outside—into your life.”
(Cloud, p. 54)
Philippians 4:8 (MSG)
Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.
It’s the positive things that have the potential to bring some happiness into your life.
When circumstances happen think:
How could this be a blessing in disguise?
Think:
How can I turn this into a blessing?
As long as your positive thinking is grounded in reality,
You are creating a hospitable place for some happiness
Negative thinking is more than being pessimistic,
Its more than the ability to spot the dark lining of a silver cloud,
Its more than being a believer in Murphy’s Law.
Negative thinking has a lot to do with how you see yourself.
The things that you are constantly telling yourself about yourself.
Many of us have these negative messages on a continual play back loop in
our heads.
How can I be so stupid?
I’m not good in new situations?
I always screw things up?
“I can’t” and you fill in the blank
You might be stuck in thinking that its all about you.
I’m the cause of a lot of bad things.
It’s my fault.
No body wants me around.
Everybody would be better off without me.
You might be a garbage collector
A pack rat for offenses.
You simply hold on to grudges, you’re unwilling to forgive,
People owe you and they’re going to pay.
You might be stuck.
There has been a trauma or loss in your life and you just can seem to
get past it.
The pain of what happens taints all your thoughts.
God will help you change your way of thinking.
You first need to become aware of what you are thinking.
Then take those negative patterns to God.
You confront those negative thoughts with the truth from the scripture.
When you catch yourself thinking negatively,
you stop and bring the Word of God to bear on it.
[the rubber band deterrent—put a rubber band on your wrist,
Snap it every time you catch yourself in a negative thought and tell
Your self the truth about what you just thought.]
For a less violent method go to hbcc.org, click “sermons/podcasts” scroll
down to the sermon series “Being the Person God Created Me To Be”
at the bottom of that section you’ll see a link to
“Your New Identification in Christ.”
When you start to see yourself as God sees you,
His positive regard for you overcomes negative thoughts about yourself and
opens your life up for experiencing some happiness.
Do you need to start thinking positive?
Secret Number Three
There is no such thing as captivity and happy. (Cloud, p. 64)
Captivity hinders happiness.
Galatians 5:1 (MSG)
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
We have built habits—behaviors we automatically do without thinking;
Attachments—behaviors that we do in order to feel that life is normal
Addictions—behaviors that we think we cannot live life without.
We’ve built habits, attachments and addictions in our lives that can take
control of our behavior.
Like negative thoughts these have to be identified,
Then brought out in the open into the light of God’s truth to be judged
and replaced with freedom.
Sometimes God’s power to change you is so incredible that you can quit a
habit, attachment or addiction cold turkey.
Ask God to give you the power to kiss you captor good-bye.
He just might do that for you.
Other times God gives you grace to work a plan that leads to a prison break.
I know that God will supply you an accountability person to help you
get free and stay free.
You need someone who will stand with you and give you
the feed back you need to work the plan to get free.
Habits, attachments and addictions will prevent happiness from visiting you.
Identify and revolt against your captors.
“If there is an area of your life where you have lost your freedom,
[fight to] get it back.’” (Cloud, p. 67)
“Whatever we do not bring into the light,
whatever we keep in the darkness, ends up controlling us.” (Cloud, p. 78)
“…you were created to be free. God does not want anyone or
any behavior to control you.” (Cloud, p. 66)
Do you need to get free?
Conclusion
Three secrets to happiness so that you can live your life well.
There is no such thing as disconnected and happy.
There is no such thing as negative thinking and happy.
There is no such thing as captivity and happy. (Cloud, p. 64)
Living your life well means you have created room in your life to experience
happiness
Living well you will need to activate the three secrets that invite
happiness into your life.
1. Fellowship connection.
2. Positive thinking
3. Freedom to choose
“It really is true that happiness is a result of who you believe in,
what you believe and what you do,
not a result of what happens to you.” (Cloud, p. 84)
The fellowship you need is first experienced in God’s love for you.
Do you know that love?
When you have experienced it you recognize it in others,
And not only are you able to recognize it you’re able to share it
with others.
Your fellowship connection begins with God.
Positive thinking works when your thoughts are shaped by the word of God.
Let’s all think happy thoughts---won’t cut it.
Let the Word of God, the Bible, transform your thinking.
In order to allow transformation of thought you have to read the
scripture, or listen to the scripture, find some way to expose
yourself to the truth so that the truth can transform your
thinking.
Exposure to Scripture allows your thoughts to align to reality.
Allow the word of God to turn your thoughts positive.
Where can you possibly get freedom to choose?
Where will you find the power to break the grip of behaviors that you
realize are preventing happiness from happening in your life?
To get free you need the power of God in your life,
Grace is the desire to be and the power to do.
That power is available from God.
Perchance have you noticed the common denominator of the secret to happiness.
What fellowship, positive thinking and getting free have in common?
God—
God himself, the Word of God and the power of God—
Are what you need to create the situations where happiness can
happen.
Seems to me if you need some happiness in your life you should seek
God cause He is the source of lasting happiness.
