Mother

Mother’s Day 2009

It’s hard to believe but once again we are celebrating Mother’s Day.

We celebrate Mother's Day to show honor and respect to one of the most influential persons in our lives.

I hope you have a relationship with your mom that you wish to celebrate,

If not make an appointment and we’ll see if I can help you out with that.

Mom everyone’s got one,

Anyone who never had a mom raise your hand—see.

Top Ten Things Mother Taught Me:

10. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the

store with me."

9. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

8. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

7. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

6. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

5. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

4. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to

me!"

2. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

1. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....

Then you'll see what it's like!"

In my research I’ve found that there are some things a mother will never say.

“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"

"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"

"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a

prison around here."

“Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.”

“Why don’t you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.”

I also came across some things a women would never have said until she became a

mom:

If you use the potty you can have a whole bag of M&M's!!

-We don't eat with our feet

I don't care if you eat spaghetti with your hands--just eat!

"Please don't cut the dog's hair with your safety scissors."

"Don't lick the dog."

"Give me that booger!"

That doesn't go in your nose.

“Nobody wants to see your bottom”

Then there are some universal momisms. Things it seems every mom has said:

You can't find it?

Well, if you'd put things where they belonged,

you wouldn't have this problem.

What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?

Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!

Put that down! You don't know where it's been!

Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected.

Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.

Am I talking to a brick wall?

Do I look like a maid?

I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.

If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.

Mom we just need to say thanks for bringing us into this world.

What I like to do is give a gift to the ladies on mother’s day.

We could preach about the moms in the Bible.

Mom’s like:

Sarah, the mother of Isaac

Rebekah, mother of Esau and Jacob

Bathsheba, mother of Solomon

Not pictures of perfect moms.

That’s one reason I believe that the Bible is the Word of God

and not the work of ingenious human authors left to their

own resources.

The Great Heroes and Heroines of the faith

had faults.

All except for one Our Lord

and Savior Jesus Christ.

I’m sure that not even King Lemuel mom was perfect. (purposely mispronounced)

Lemuel one he wrote about in Proverbs 31,

Proverbs 31:29 (MSG)

“Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"

We don’t have perfect moms.

But we do have pictures of ferocious love,

Sacrifice and provision and endurance, all give

that their children would achieve great things.

So we could preach about mother hood,

But instead I want to give a gift to all the women gathered here.

I want to talk to the men and tell them about women.

Give them a little insight into how to women work

So you guys can treat all the women in your life as Jesus

would.

If you take the time to read through the scripture looking for information as to how

men are to relate to women hopefully you will notice development.

From property to people to co-labors in Christ.

That development comes to its highest expression in Jesus.

Jesus does not treat women as inferior creatures or as property,

he treats them like people.

Contradicting the teachings of the scribes and Pharisees

Jesus sets a new example in how men are to treat women.

His interaction with Mary and Martha in John 10

His healing of the women with the issue of blood in Mark 5

His kindness to the Canaanite Women in Matthew 15

His conversation with the Samaritan Woman in John 4

His defense of the prostitute in Luke 7,

His forgiveness of the women caught in adultery John 8

His respect of Mary when she anointed him with her perfume in

John 12

All set a new tone in male female relationships.

I can boil it down for you rather quickly.

Men are to treat all women as if they were his mother, his sister, his

daughter.

And hopefully that means with honor and respect and

equality.

Even after he is picked by one to be a husband.

If that fate should befall you gentleman.

I think you can easily see that in what the Apostle Peter wrote to husbands

about their wives.

1 Peter 3:7 (MSG)

Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God's grace, you're equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don't run aground.

So ladies what I want to do is tell guys about girls.

Three areas well take a peek into.

How Women contemplate

How Women communicate

How Women –connect.

Guys it should come as no surprise to you that women do not think like men.

After all Harry Higgins tipped us off years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Doz5w2W-jAY

The reason why a woman can’t be like a man is because she thinks

differently.

Here’s an illustration of a Women’s brain

http://dedicated.goofball.com/goofball/photos/2006/Image.gif

Each one of those blue dots is a thought.

And they are all moving around at the speed of light.

They are all interconnected.

Ever wonder why woman can remember everything?

It because they encase an event in an emotion and it imprints

becoming one of those little blue dots, forever cycling through.

Since those blue dots are always cycling,

She can jump from one thought to another and back again then

on to another, leaving us poor men in a maze of

confusion.

Women tend to think emotionally,

Guys you tend to think logically.

You can both get to the same conclusion,

Its just that she is going take more stops and

detours and do a little more sight seeing

on the way than you will.

She just may have a fuller picture of what is going on because

of it—they call it a woman’s intuition.

Because everything is connected in a women’s brain she can multiple process.

If she was a computer she would have a dual quad core processor for a CPU

With a tera bite of ram.

Women's brains are designed to multiple task.

Women can Watch TV, carry on a phone conversation,

and cook a new recipes,

While she’s watching her kids all at the same time.

Guys. We aren’t wired for that.

Say its girl’s night out and dad gets to watch the kids: Jean, Jack
& Jr.

Mom comes home and there’s dad playing with Jr.

Mom asks how things went,

He says great.

She asks where are the other kids.

He says what other kids?

Of course, there are exceptions between individuals but generally speaking Men

are single Processors.

Guys our brains are designed to concentrate only one thing at a time.

There’s only one blue dot at a time.

And often that isn’t even moving.

Take driving for instance.

While she drives she can talk, listen to music, eat lunch, look at the

Scenery, check and reapply her make up, all at the same time.

Guys—don’t try it.

It seems always to be the case that I’ll be driving down the freeway

and come up to some car that’s moving below the speed limit,

and as I pass, sure enough, a guy on a cell phone.

I’m driving and someone will say, wow look at that,

If its not right in front of me,

Watch out, cause I’m not.

Knowing this guys,

If you want to treat a women right,

You must stop doing what ever you are focused on doing,

You have to stop.

Turn to her, watch her lips move and listen.

And then confirm her communication to you with

a listening responses.

Other wise she is going to give you vital information that you need to

know,

information that if you don’t act on you’re going to be in

trouble.

For instance: She tells you she’s going to get her hair done Thursday.

Guys file that tid-bit of information in their trash bin.

But guys, you missed it.

She is giving you valuable information.

She is trying to help you out.

Because she is going to come home on Thursday,

And she is going to want you to tell her how good

she looks.

She comes, home and you say “Honey your hair

looks great.”

Dude you just scored points.

If she comes home and has to ask

“How do you like my hair?”

No points.

Say “Looks fine to me.”

Negative points.

The main reason we can’t ever remember what she said is because we

weren’t focused on her, we missed vital information.

We were still focused on what we were doing before she started

talking.

And boy can she talk.

Her brain is hard wired for talk.

She is so geared for verbal communication women pick up foreign

languages more readily than men.

She is so wired for communication she even talks to herself.

I’ve told you before that women on the average speak twice as much as men.

Guys 10, 000 words a day

Women 20,000 words a day.

Guys burn through their quota of words doing the 9-5

Women aren’t even warmed up yet.

How was you day honey?

Fine.

What did you do today?

Same ole.

Anything interesting happen?

Nope

What do you like about your job?

--no answer—confused expression.

Well?

Well what?

What do you like about your job?

Huh…

Guys don’t be stupid, after that first fine, just ask her how her

day was, then all you’ll have to do is listen.

But as you listen be careful

Guys, women use words differently than you do do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCt-NnNFBag

Understanding women use of words.

Scene #8 needs to be deleted as inappropriate for the

congregation.

Men women use language differently than we do.

When I ask a guy a question, or to explain some problem I’m having,

I’m asking for his help.

In fact I’m actually honoring him by acknowledging his

expertise, and competence, and wisdom.

But guys, when women start explaining something to you,

They don’t want an answer.

Allow me to illustrate this for you--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRhVoghoME&feature=related

(need to edit—actress uses a word that may be considered inappropriate)

her problems don’t need an answer.

I know its frustrating,

you have all these great analytical skills to quickly bottom line

problems and come up with great solutions.

And as soon as you do she’s mad at you.

Now some guys have learned this secret about the women but they abuse it.

For example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJv1pLDHmak

7-11 conversation.

A listening response is more than a “grunt” or an “u huh,” “ok”--

With active listening you’re not merely hearing the words that are

spoken, you are attempting to get a feel for her emotion, about what

she is talking about, and you are seeking to give her support.

Knowing this guys,

If you want to treat a women right,

You need to listen to her,

Hear her emotion,

Sense what she is feeling,

And then don’t solve her problem,

Just validate her feelings

and affirm your confidence in

her.

With all that thinking and all that talking what she really wants to do is connect

with you.

She is wired to be connect in social networks.

She uses her massive verbal skills to connect with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc2FJzL6uRA&feature=related

Dr. Cheryl: How Men and Women Communicate

(requires editing to shorten what she says is fine)

Guys communicate to share information, solve a problem, get a task done.

Gals communicate to connect.

To get close.

Guys like connection too, in fact that’s usually what’s driving a man to have

any interaction with a woman at all.

But for a woman, connection means intimacy.

In To Me See

She wants to be seen by you.

Respected,

Acknowledged,

Appreciated as a human being.

She wants to be seen by you,

As competent,

As capable and most importantly of all

As captivating.

And you don’t need to touch her to honor her.

In fact if she’s got her act together she won’t let you near

Her not only until she knows you can see in to her—

In To Me See

and that she can see into you,

but also when she has your commitment;

which usually comes with a big

ceremony that includes an “I Do”

Gentleman I hate to tell you this but its just the plain truth.

Connection and sex are not the same thing.

Think of connection like logging into a social network.

Connecting is becoming a part of her world.

The way to do that is through talking.

Gentleman when it comes to talking--

Vampire clip

(This clip required a huge amount of editing to make it appropriate for the congregation)

Knowing this guys,

If you want to treat a women right,

You need to look for her heart and then

You need to be open and honest with her so she can see yours.

Intimacy, in to me see, creates connection.

Connection creates relationships and

As you know everything rises and falls on

relationships.

Today its been my hope that guys if you learned a little about

how woman think,

and how they communicate and how they connect,

you will be better equipped to treat the women in you life,

and especially your mom

the way Jesus treats women.

Ladies, it is my sincere hope that you can approve these insights into the way you

are wired.

That you would leave her today and be able to tell the men in your

world to check out the podcast of this message to help them get

their act together.

I want to thank my mom for making me possible to present this teaching to you today.

Finally for your consideration here’s a great tribute to moms sung by a mom:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0ZpuA8_YYk

[please visit Anita Renfroe’s website]

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